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Just Going Through The Motions In Life?

Don’t feel bad. In life, many people experience those moments.  And contrary to popular belief, I don’t think it’s such a bad thing.264

Sometimes the act of, “just going through the motions” during valley moments when your dreams aren’t manifesting, that business isn’t flourishing or “them kids” don’t seem to heed your guidance and you’d ordinarily just give up – is the very thing that propels you through challenging times and into the materialization of your harvest.

I believe the ability to honor ones vision or purpose in season and out – whether we’re “feeling it” or not, cultivates the discipline, maturity and personal growth necessary to manage through the “good times.”

So when you’re feeling discouraged, don’t give up. Show up!



Ladon Brumfield is founding Executive Director of Chicago-based girls mentoring organization, Girls Rule! (


In the news…

Girls Rule! | The Etiquette Imperative featured in B.Couleur Magazine:


“Daily, girls are bombarded with subtle societal messages about their value and potential. When we replace negative messages with positive tools and proper social skills including courtesy, civility, and respect it proves to be the bottom line in determining a profitable and successful future.”

Recently, Girls Rule! and The Etiquette Imperative were featured in the B.Couleur Magazine article, “Girls Rule! Old-Fashioned Etiquette Prepares Girls for Modern Success” by award winning journalist, Nykeya Woods. We are honored and proud to raise the visibility and highlight the importance of etiquette mastery and it’s significant impact on future earning potential and civil social interactions.

Thank you to all of our supporters, partners, followers and subscribers for helping to make our work possible. We hope you enjoy the piece:

“Gone are the days when ladies put on gloves for an outing, dress up to run errands, or wear a slip under a skirt. More people today view etiquette-letting seniors or pregnant women sit on public transportation or holding doors open-as a dying practice. Yet, others argue that the more etiquette is disregarded, the more conflict will arise. Ladon Thames-Brumfield thinks a return to etiquette instruction could revive the art of civility and manners.

Seven years ago, the former corporate…

Read more…

Girls Rule!
Inspiring Girls To Blend…OUT!
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Self Love tattoo

Image by artnoose via Flickr

My mother used to tell me that I should be my own best friend. When I was younger, I did not fully understand what she meant. But, the words stayed with me.

I have learned over the years that loving one’s self is hard because we have spent a lifetime listening to negative messages that have made us feel that we don’t deserve love. We constantly have tapes in our minds that speak to our unworthiness, and the sad thing is that we listen to them and start believing.

These negative messages keep us from acting in our own best interest. We allow others to take advantage of us and control our lives. We cease to be our own best friend.

In order to unhook from the cycle we must take deliberate steps to affirm who we are and take positive steps to loving our selves. It is up to us to be the person we want to be.

The power is within. Begin to tap into it with these steps:

  1. Make a firm decision to put yourself first. Make yourself a part of your equation. Put yourself into your life.
  2. Start to turn off critical or negative voices inside your head. You don’t have to buy into negative messages.
  3. Plan to spend one-hour with yourself every day to focus on you – go for a walk, take a bath or put on soothing music and relax. This will help you clean out the cobwebs in your mind.
  4. Write down all of the positive things that happened to you today. Count your blessings, don’t block them. Just waking up every morning is a blessing!
  5. Get negative people out of the front row seat of your life. Surround yourself with positive people.
  6. Buy a bunch of fresh flowers every week. They speak to you silently and powerfully about how special you are.
  7. Look in the mirror, into your eyes, and say out loud, “I love me some me!”


She must be honest, both in thought and deed,
Of generous impulse, and above all greed;
Not seeking praise, or place, or power, or pelf,
But life’s best blessings for her higher self,
Which means the best for all.
She must have faith,
To make good friends of Trouble, Pain, and Death,
And understand their message.
She should be
As redolent with tender sympathy
As a rose is with fragrance.
Should be her mantle, even though her dress
May be of Sorrow’s weaving.
On her face
A loyal nature leaves its seal of grace,
And chastity is in her atmosphere.
Not that chill chastity which seems austere
(Like untrod snow-peaks, lovely to behold
Till once attained – then barren, loveless, cold):
But the white flame that feeds upon the soul
And lights the pathway to a peaceful goal.
A sense of humour, and a touch of mirth,
To brighten up the shadowy spots of earth;
And pride that passes evil – choosing good.
All these unite in perfect womanhood.

Create Date Monday, May 26, 2003

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

by Lisa Guillot, Step Brightly Creative Group

Part 2 of the Step Brightly Creative Women in Business Series Interview
with Ladon Brumfield, Director of Girls Rule!

Our favorite radio station, V103FM highlights “Views from the Heart” with Hermene Hartman, editor of N’Digo Magazine.  She shares her thoughts about Girls Rule and their list of 101 things a girl should know before she enters high school. Step Brightly’s favorite: #99 Pick friends who enhance your life.

Ladon Brumfield continues…

How do you continue to learn, evolve, network and find work/life balance?
It really is challenging! For entrepreneurs who are either building a business or working diligently to sustain or grow it, maintaining work/life balance is always a challenge. I think it’s an even more challenging balancing act for mompreneurs. I am no exception. I have to work extra hard to adhere to specific work hours so that work and life boundaries don’t become skewed. Sometimes I’m successful. Other times, I fail miserably.

I carve out time each day…ok, in reality, it’s just couple of times a week, to read articles from other professionals in my field. I also belong to several online community groups for entrepreneurs where I may network and share what I’ve learned while learning from others. To ensure that my programming continues to evolve, whenever possible I facilitate my own workshops so that can keep a pulse of and better understand the changing needs of the young ladies Girls Rule! serves.

How do you stay true to yourself as an individual in the business world?
I focus on purpose. I am not doing this work by accident, but by appointment. For me, Girls Rule! is a purpose driven work that I have been specifically prepared and crafted to do for this season. My spiritual, social and professional purpose and skill-sets are aligned…finally.

Many persons don’t know that initially, I primarily lived <read more>

Mother and daughter

Mother and Daughters Building Positive Self Image One Step at a Time

Question: How do I help my 12-year-old daughter increase her self-esteem when my own is not that great?

Answer: Even though life experiences have not enabled you to feel positive self-esteem, you still can help others to build a positive image:

1. Compliment your daughter on the decisions that she makes. When she has a problem, help her to search for ways to deal with the situation, rather than taking over the problem and telling her what she should do.

2. Help her analyze her poor decisions so she can identify her mistakes and chart better courses of action.

3. Encourage your daughter to take positive risks such as trying out for a sport, attending a club, or volunteering to work on a special project. By taking these risks, she can gain the attention from others who can support you in your efforts to make her feel significant.

4. Teens feel most confident when they know they can make a difference — that they can help others. Seek opportunities for her to show what she can do and where she can earn compliments from others, not just from her friends or her parents.

It’s never too late to begin to find out just how great we really are. Make a list of your own strengths and find ways to use them more. Others will notice and value your contributions. Soon you’ll be on the road to building your own self-esteem.

Pulse evaluation

Taking Your Pulse

How many times have you created a strategy to ensure that you fulfill your resolutions or reach your goals only to find that you haven’t achieved your desired outcome? 

Don’t give up!  Even the best laid plans encounter challenges. 

Success lies in checking the PULSE of your activities.  Just as a physician checks ones pulse for irregularities and to make sure everything flows properly, we should regularly check the ebbs and flow of our goal oriented tasks, activities and processes to ensure that we are thriving toward our goals. 

Ladon Brumfield
Girls Rule!  Inspiring Girls to Blend…OUT!

Part I: Shanon Nelson; educator, author, and mompreneur.

“Jump into the middle of things, get your hands dirty, fall flat on your face, and then reach for the stars.” ~Ben Stein

Don’t get me wrong — I believe in that ages old Proverb, “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.”  Preparation when embarking upon any endeavor is critical to its success. 

However, lets not become so paralyzed by the planning process or the prospect failure that we do not act.   


A southern Indiana school district drew fire after telling a teenager to sing the national anthem their way – a more “traditional” way.  Since then the teen, Shai Warfield-Cross has received a formal apology from the school principal.  He also promised to personally introduce her to the audience the next time she sings the song, which she’ll be allowed to sing her way. <more below>

What Happened?

Shai, a 16 year old sophamore student at Bloomington High School North, has performed “The Star Spangle Banner,” at school sporting events for the past year without incident.  However, a big flap was caused when she sang her interpretation of the national anthem before a game in Marshville, IN.

Bloomingtion High School North’s principal, Jeff Henderson reprimanded the teen for her interpretation of the song after receiving complaints from some who found the melody to be unrecognizable and others who felt the rendition was disrespectful to both past and current members of the United States military.  

Do you think the National Anthem is up for interpretation?  Should we inspire girls to blend out – but only in ways that make others feel comfortable?

Ladon Brumfield
Girls Rule! Inspiring Girls to Blend…OUT!

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The Etiquette Imperative Workshops

The Know Your Destination Etiquette Series.

The Etiquette Imperative, as featured on The Evening News with Katie Couric, Chicago's NBC 5 and in other media outlets, provides an organized opportunity for discussion of the rules of etiquette in an age appropriate fun and engaging manner.

Access to these esteem building, critical life skills help girls to successfully navigate social situations, enhance their communication skills and serve them well as they transition in to adulthood. Learn more!

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