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Just Going Through The Motions In Life?

Don’t feel bad. In life, many people experience those moments.  And contrary to popular belief, I don’t think it’s such a bad thing.264

Sometimes the act of, “just going through the motions” during valley moments when your dreams aren’t manifesting, that business isn’t flourishing or “them kids” don’t seem to heed your guidance and you’d ordinarily just give up – is the very thing that propels you through challenging times and into the materialization of your harvest.

I believe the ability to honor ones vision or purpose in season and out – whether we’re “feeling it” or not, cultivates the discipline, maturity and personal growth necessary to manage through the “good times.”

So when you’re feeling discouraged, don’t give up. Show up!



Ladon Brumfield is founding Executive Director of Chicago-based girls mentoring organization, Girls Rule! (

Mother and daughter

Mother and Daughters Building Positive Self Image One Step at a Time

Question: How do I help my 12-year-old daughter increase her self-esteem when my own is not that great?

Answer: Even though life experiences have not enabled you to feel positive self-esteem, you still can help others to build a positive image:

1. Compliment your daughter on the decisions that she makes. When she has a problem, help her to search for ways to deal with the situation, rather than taking over the problem and telling her what she should do.

2. Help her analyze her poor decisions so she can identify her mistakes and chart better courses of action.

3. Encourage your daughter to take positive risks such as trying out for a sport, attending a club, or volunteering to work on a special project. By taking these risks, she can gain the attention from others who can support you in your efforts to make her feel significant.

4. Teens feel most confident when they know they can make a difference — that they can help others. Seek opportunities for her to show what she can do and where she can earn compliments from others, not just from her friends or her parents.

It’s never too late to begin to find out just how great we really are. Make a list of your own strengths and find ways to use them more. Others will notice and value your contributions. Soon you’ll be on the road to building your own self-esteem.

Learn to beat stress

It is not unusual for a woman to feel stressed at times in her life. The trick is learning the skills of how to manage stress when you do get stressed out in your life. Stress symptoms are bad for your health both mentally and physically. It is better for you to learn stress management so that you can get stress relief in your life. Here are ways to beat stress for women.

Change Your Situation

The number one way to manage stress in your life is to change the situation that is causing your stress if you can. Try to resolve whatever is bothering you. Talk it out with others. Sometimes you just need to learn how to let things go and move on. You just need to solve the issues that are causing you all your stress. Whether that is relationships, money issues, job issues, or anything else that stresses you out. Accept what is bothering you, and then do something about it.


Writing your thoughts out is a good way to get out your feelings. Sometimes when you just hold all of your emotions in, you just get really stressed out. Journaling is a healthy way to get those emotions out. It gives you a chance to release your feelings. It also gives you a chance to then reread your thoughts, and it can help you to see if your emotions are worth all the stress you have been feeling. It can also help you solve your issues because you can really examine what is going on in your head.


Exercise is a great way to get stress relief. Do something as simple as taking a walk to clear your head. This is great in helping your stress management. Many people exercise as a way to get into a good head space. Plus, you are doing wonders for your body when you work out. Exercise is wonderful for both your mental and physical health. So go work out your stress.

Eat BetterLet us be honest most women do not eat that well when they are stressed out. Either you are loading up on your carbs, or you are simply not eating enough. Starving your body is making your body weaker, and your need the proper nutrients in your body in order for you feel healthy. Plus, as much as we all like to have a good cry and eat a pint of our favorite ice cream when we are feeling down it is not the best choice for our body. Do not let stress make you eat unhealthy. Make sure you get plenty of fruits and vegetables into your daily meals. Eating healthier leads you to have better stress management.


One of the major stress symptoms is that many times women experience a sleep patterns change. Either you are not getting enough sleep or you are getting too much sleep. It is important that you get a proper night’s sleep every night. A person usually needs at least 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night. So try to get more than a couple hours of sleep when you are stressed. Your body will thank you for it. Getting a good night’s rest will help you face your stress in the morning, and help you make better decisions on how to get stress relief in your life.


When you are feeling stress in your life this is the best time to do things that bring you relaxation. Do a favorite activity that you enjoy. Some women like to take a hot bath because it helps them to relax. Other women like to read a good book because it helps them to escape their problems for a bit. Do whatever helps you to relax in a healthy way when you are feeling stress symptoms. Always remember that life is always filled with change because nothing ever stays the same, and although you might be feeling really stressed out right now that with good stress management you will find stress relief. So hang in there because there is always hope in ending your stress.

By Debi Rideout
Your Wisdom from Shine

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The Know Your Destination Etiquette Series.

The Etiquette Imperative, as featured on The Evening News with Katie Couric, Chicago's NBC 5 and in other media outlets, provides an organized opportunity for discussion of the rules of etiquette in an age appropriate fun and engaging manner.

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